On forbidding wailing over the dead, slapping the cheeks, tearing the shirt, pulling out the hair and shaving it, and against praying for destruction

Riyad as-Salihin (The Meadows of the Righteous)

by Imam Nawawi

302. Chapter: On forbidding wailing over the dead, slapping the cheeks, tearing the shirt, pulling out the hair and shaving it, and against praying for destruction

1657. 'Umar ibn al-Khattab said, "The dead person is punished in his grave for the wailing done over him." [Agreed upon]

1658. Ibn Mas'ud reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Someone who strikes his cheeks, tears his garments and calls out the cries of the Jahiliyya is not one of us." [Agreed upon]

1659. Abu Burda said, "Abu Musa was ill and fainted. His head was in the lap of one of the women of his family and he was unable to reply to anything. When he came to, he said, 'I declare myself free of those from whom the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, declared himself free.' The Messenger of Allah declared himself free from women who slap their faces, shave their heads and tear their clothes." [Agreed upon]

1660. al-Mughira ibn Shu'ba said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, "Anyone who is wailed over is punished by the wailing over him on the Day of Rising.'" [Agreed upon]

1661. Umm 'Atiyya Nusayba said, "At the time of the oath of allegiance, the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, imposed on us that we should not wail." [Agreed upon]

1662. An-Nu'man ibn Bashir said, "'Abdullah ibn Rawaha fainted and his sister began to weep and say, 'What a paragon he was!' and this and that, repeating them. When he recovered consciousness, he said, 'You did not say anything without it being said to me, "Are you really like that?"'" [al-Bukhari]

1663. Ibn 'Umar said, "Sa'd ibn 'Ubada fell ill and the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, came to visit him with 'Abdu'r-Rahman ibn 'Awf, Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas and 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud. When he arrived, he found him in a stupor and said, 'Has he died?' They said, 'No, Messenger of Allah.' The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, wept. When the people saw the Prophet weeping, they wept. He said, 'Listen, Allah does not punish on account of the tears of the eyes nor for the grief of the heart, but he punishes or shows mercy on account of this,' and he pointed to his tongue.'" [Agreed upon]

1664. Abu Malik al-Ash'ari said, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When someone who wails fails to repent before she dies, she will be raised up on the Day of Rising with trousers of tar and a mangy chemise." [Muslim]

1665. Usayd ibn Abi Usayd at-Tabi'i from one of the women who gave homage who said, "Among the things the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, made us agree to regarding correct behaviour in respect of which we promised not to disobey him were not scratching our faces nor wailing nor tearing our shirts nor pulling out our hair." [Abu Dawud]

1666. Abu Musa reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "There is no one who dies whose mourners then stand and say, 'O chief! O master!' or similar things without two angels being delegated to him to prod him in the chest saying, "Were you really like that?'" [at-Tirmidhi]

1667. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Two things people do have disbelief in them: attacking lineage and wailing over the dead." [Muslim]